How Are Arrangements for Children Decided When Parents Separate?
When parents separate, arrangements for the children are often the most important — and most sensitive — issue. In England & Wales the law approaches this from one clear starting point: the welfare of the child comes first.
The welfare principle
The law does not talk in terms of "winning" custody. The term used is child arrangements — where a child lives and how they spend time with each parent. When decisions are made, the child's welfare is the paramount consideration, ahead of what either parent might prefer.
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What is taken into account
Where a decision has to be made, a range of factors known as the "welfare checklist" is considered, including:
- the child's needs, age and circumstances;
- the likely effect of any change on the child;
- any risk of harm;
- how capable each parent is of meeting the child's needs;
- the child's own wishes and feelings, considered in light of their age and understanding.
Agreeing arrangements
Most parents are able to agree arrangements between themselves, sometimes with the help of mediation or solicitors. Where possible, reaching an agreement between yourselves is encouraged by the Court, as it tends to minimise acrimony and disruption for everyone, especially the children. The Court does not have to be involved in order for you to agree contact arrangements for the children.
If agreement isn't possible
Where parents cannot agree, either can ask the court to make a child arrangements order. The court will look to the welfare checklist when considering who the children shall spend time with and how often. Every family is different, and so there is no 'one size fits all' order that the Court will make.
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This article provides general information about the law in England & Wales and is not legal advice. Every situation is different, and how the law applies depends on your individual circumstances. For advice tailored to you, please speak to a solicitor.
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This article was drafted with the assistance of AI and subsequently reviewed and fact-checked by Jennifer Miles, Director & Family Solicitor at Aletta Shaw Solicitors (SRA No. 583090), on 4 August 2026.